A Dog Mom and Her Fur Babies
Yesterday, I was reading Drew Barrymore’s book Wildflower and I read the chapter about her dogs. I ugly cried as I read how she felt about her dog, because I understood. I started thinking about Latte and Poncho. I feel like people think that when you lose a dog that is should take a limited amount of time to “get over it” and then it shouldn’t be an issue anymore. Unlike when people die. Other people understand when you lose a parent, friend, or sibling that it takes a long time to adjust. With pets, people seem to feel like it should be a shorter mourning period.
Latte was my world. I miss her every minute of every day since she took her last breathe. Especially when I’m home. If I was home, she was always in my lap or sitting right next to me. When I slept, she was cuddled up with me.
Losing Latte has also made me miss Poncho more because prior to Latte’s death, I had never been in this house without a dog. When I moved in, it was Poncho and me together for 5 years and then I got Latte. When Poncho passed, I still had Latte. I still remember the day I took Poncho to the vet for the last time without Latte. I’m sure she knew he wasn’t coming back home. After Poncho crossed the rainbow bridge, the bond between Latte and I strengthened 10 fold.
Every night when I’m read for bed, I’m reminded that I’m going to bed alone. It’s been two months and I’m still not use to sleeping without a chihuahua cuddled up next to me. I miss Latte so much. I always thought losing Poncho would be way more painful than losing Latte. Of course, it’s possible I just don’t fully remember how it felt when I lost Poncho. What I do remember is that when I lost Poncho, I still had Latte at home with me. Being in this house without a dog is heartbreaking.
I have looked at a few dogs but none of them have felt like my dog. Latte was my baby girl. From the minute I saw her we had a connection. She looked up at me with those big brown eyes and we formed a bond that just grew stronger over time.
She was so patient when Poncho was sick and needed more of my attention. She never demanded attention over him. It’s like she knew he was sick. After Poncho passed away, she really came out of her shell. It’s like she thought, “Okay, she’s all mine now. I get all of the attention.” She let me know when she wanted to play, when she wanted to be in my lap, and when she wanted to go outside. It’s like suddenly I was here just to cater to whatever she needed.
From the moment I walked in the door, she was in my lap. I miss when she was feeling better and she would always jump down from wherever she was laying when I came home and go grab her blue dog or her pink dog and shake them and want to play. As she got older, she didn’t jump down and run to the door anymore. When I would come home, she would either be laying in the floor or still in the same spot she had been laying when I left for the day which was on the couch or in the recliner. I miss her taking off running around the table for no reason or pawing at me until I got down in the floor to play with her. I miss her waking me up because she was ready to get up. I miss when she would be in my lap and she would suddenly stretch her paws up on my chest and snuggle her head under my chin. Or she would give me kisses. She loved me. there is no doubt about that. And I loved her. The love between a dog mom and her baby is forever.
Though I have never had children, I truly understand how you love your children differently because I loved Poncho and Latte differently. It’s not that I loved one more than the other. I hope they are together in heaven taking care of each other and playing like they use to do. I hope they are both waiting for me and telling each other stories about our times together. I really tried to give them both the best life possible. If I could have prevented any of their pain, I would have in a minute. I did end their suffering when I knew that nothing would save them.
For those of you that have lost a pet or have a senior pet that you know will be crossing the rainbow bridge soon, remember that every moment with your pet is precious and you will have enough love for another fur baby someday. Don’t rush it, but when the time is right, you will know. I believe that pets choose you. We just think we have a say in it …;)